The I Love You Curse and other Mean Things
by Snow Rabbit
Summary: According to the 'I Love You Curse' you have to say I love every time someone says your name. The victim? It's Yami.
1. The I Love You Curse

Okay I'm writing this because well, I thought of it while trying to type the next chapter of The Changing of Past. ^_^ And because this plagued my last few days of school -_-  
  
Warning: Character torture. And. . . Yuki is back!  
  
Disclaimer: If there has to be a disclaimer, then you already know that: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
The I Love You Curse  
  
***  
  
Yugi, Yami, Bakura, Ryou, Tea, Joey, and Seto were. . .well trapped in a small mansion by the evil authoress which will be called Yuki.  
  
Yuki: Hey, I'm back! Oh yea, I don't love Seto.  
  
Seto: Why not?  
  
Yuki: Because of that mullet! But, if you insist . . . *Glomps*  
  
Seto: Ack! No! Get off you evil bitch!  
  
Yami: *covers Yugi's ears* Shut up! I don't want you exposing my innoc-um, my aibou to such language.  
  
Tea: Hey, Yami, whatdidja say? Could it be true? Has Yugi lost his virginity before me? Ahhhh!!!!!!  
  
Yugi: *Smiles* Don't worry Tea, that ship sailed a long time ago!  
  
Tea: Ahhhh!!!!!!  
  
***2 Hours Later***  
  
Tea: Ahhhhhhhhh!  
  
Bakura: *Comes from behind with an anvil and drops it on Tea's head* Sigh. I thought that bitch would never shut up.  
  
Tea: *clunk*  
  
Seto: HEY! What the fuck! Why can he talk crap and not me!  
  
Yami: *Half-asleep* What? You talk shit anyway. I don't know why you're listening to me.  
  
Seto: Augh! You damn bastard! *Metaphorical light bulb appears above his head* Oh Yami, wanna play a game?  
  
Yami: *raises an eyebrow* What am I supposed to do?  
  
Seto: *looks at Yami innocently* All you have to do is pick a number. I suggest picking a good high one!  
  
Yami: *thinking* 'Hmm. . . what the hell could this be? Oh well he told me what to pick, so I'll pick it.' I pick one.  
  
Seto: *looks mad* Ahhh!!!! *Calms himself* Oh well, since you picked one you have to say 'I love you' to whoever says your name for 1 day.  
  
Yami: SHIT! I don't have to so I won't.  
  
Yuki: But you do! *points to the one and only rule*  
  
*~RULES~*  
  
1. YOU WILL DO WHAT EVER THE AUTHORESS TELLS YOU.  
  
Yami: Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yugi: Aw, Yami don't worry!  
  
Yami: *grimaces* I love you aibou.  
  
Yugi: I love you too, Yami!  
  
Yami: I love you. NOW STOP SAYING MY NAME!  
  
Yugi: *smiles* Okie!  
  
Seto: Say, Yami, isn't this FUN?  
  
Yami: Shit. I love you, and HELL NO!  
  
Joey: *Walks in with empty food bags* We got a prob-- *looks at Yami* Hey Yami, what's wrong? You look kinda mad.  
  
Yami: GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! I love you. I really don't, by the way.  
  
Ryou: *Wakes up* Hey Joey, can I have some food?  
  
Joey: Well, that's the thing, I ate it all.  
  
Yugi, Ryou, and Seto: WHAT?!  
  
Yuki: Hmm. . . I had 2 tons of food. You must be hungry Joey.  
  
Joey: Well. . .yea, I'm hungry got anymore food.  
  
Yami: Good thing I don't have to eat.  
  
Seto: Shut up, YAMI.  
  
Yami: I love you.  
  
Bakura: *smirks* Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami.  
  
Yami: O.o AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I love you. I love you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. . . *out of breath*  
  
Ryou: Hey Yami, I think you have to say it three more times since those 'I hate you's don't count.  
  
Yami: I love you. I love you. I love you. I hate you. You white-haired bastards.  
  
Seto: Hey Yami, I think there's one more to say. ^_^  
  
Yami: I love you. I love you. Grr....!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryou: Yami, that was mean!  
  
Yami: I love you. You deserve it you damn brat.  
  
Yugi: Yami! Apologize.  
  
Yami: I love you.  
  
Seto: What!? No comment?  
  
Yami: *Looks confused* I love you.  
  
Joey: What the hell? He didn't even have to say it that time!  
  
Yami: I love you.  
  
Bakura: Pharaoh, are you on crack? I want some!  
  
Yuki: I'm sorry Bakura, there's no crack here! He is saying I love you because he has said It so many times that now everything he says will be I love you.  
  
Yami: I love you.  
  
Seto: Hahaha! Whatcha gonna say now?  
  
Yami: I love you. *Walks up to Seto and smiles coldly. Punches Seto in the face*  
  
Seto: Ha! I wasn't hurt!  
  
Yuki: Oh yea, people can't get hurt in this house because it would cause character death.  
  
Bakura sarcastically: And we wouldn't want that to happen. *Points to Tea who is still out cold*  
  
Yami: I love you.  
  
Yuki: Review with packages, suggestions and the victim of the next curse. The curse is: You are only allowed to say two different sentences. Please pick the sentences! Whatever you do, just REVIEW.  
  
Joey: So hungry.  
  
Yami: I love you.  
  
Yuki: Of course you do.  
  
Yugi: Reviewers, please help Yami, you should hear what he's telepathically saying.  
  
Ryou: I fear for my life.  
  
Seto: MWAHAHA! 


	2. Round TWO

Yea! I didn't expect such a good response for this fic! But, since I got all these reviews *dances around* I will write this next chapter well . . .now!  
  
Warning: Character torture ^_^!  
  
Disclaimer: You know what belongs here.  
  
The Two Line Curse  
  
***  
  
Joey: Ay, Yami, you okay? *Watches Yami hit himself in the throat*  
  
Yami: *hits himself again* Ack.Love you, I . . .Ack . . .  
  
Seto: *grins evilly* You said it wrong!  
  
Yami: *glares* I love you. *hits himself again* Hcckkkssssss. . .Ack. . .shhhhhi. . .  
  
Yugi: Hey Yami, are you alright?  
  
Yami: I love . . .you. Ack. Shiittt . . .  
  
Yugi: I love you too!  
  
Bakura: Shit, you're fixed!  
  
Yami: Y-y-esssss . . .  
  
Seto: O-o-kay . . .  
  
Ryou: *pouts* Say you're sorry for being mean to me!  
  
Yami: N-no!  
  
Bakura: *smirk* Ha! Asshole!  
  
Yami: *clears throat and picks up Tea, who is still knocked out, by the hair* You're da ass. *Hurls Tea at Bakura and Seto who are sitting near each other*  
  
Seto and Bakura: EW! Get it away!  
  
Tea: *wakes up and notices that she is on top of two guys* HI ^_^!  
  
Bakura: AH! Bitch, be gone! *Stands up*  
  
Tea: Ah! *Falls on the floor*  
  
Yuki: That's the way!  
  
Seto: Ack! It's still alive!  
  
Yuki: I'll help! *Uses authoress powers* Let there be rain!  
  
Ryou: How is that supposed to help?  
  
*Packages rain from the sky*  
  
Ryou: Ohhhhhhhhhh!!! -_-  
  
*All the packages fall on Tea, knocking her out*  
  
Bakura: Thank Satan.  
  
Ryou: Don't you mean thank G-  
  
Bakura: *cuts him off* NO. I meant SATAN, God-boy.  
  
Yuki: Anyway, packages from KawaiiBlackMoon! Let's see, the first is some duct-tape to use on Tea!  
  
Yami: Gimmie! *Takes tape and uses some on Tea's mouth, eyes, arms, legs. . .*  
  
Joey: Geez, Yami, I can barely see any of Tea anymore!  
  
Yami: I love you. And I know ^_^!  
  
Yuki: *Takes a package off the floor* Let's see . . . the next one is for . . . me! An iron mallet! *Looks sideways at Bakura, Seto, and Yami* MWAHAHA!  
  
Yami, Seto, and Bakura: Noooooo!!!!!!  
  
Yuki: *carelessly swings mallet and misses* Okay, the next one is to Ryou.  
  
Ryou: Oh dear, no good could come of this . . .  
  
Yuki: Well, no doubt that it will be fun . . . because, it's . . . a DRESS!!! It says to wear it, Ryou!  
  
Ryou: *Looks at the paper* No it does not!  
  
Yuki: Oh Ryou, must I point to the rule again.  
  
Ryou: *Grumbles* Damn you evil authoress people. *Grabs dress and walks to other part of the place to change*  
  
Yuki: Okay, next one is for Bakura!  
  
Bakura: *sarcastically* Oh, joy.  
  
Yuki: *frowns* Nope, this is actually a good gift. Here's a bag of crack!  
  
Bakura: YAY!!! Hey-wait, there's no lighter! Wah!!!!!  
  
Yuki: *Digs in bag of crack* I think I found one, but it's kinda small . . .  
  
Seto: *looks at the lighter* AH! That's a flame-thrower!  
  
Bakura: Eehehehe! Mwahahaha!!!!  
  
Yami: Oh boy . . .  
  
Bakura: *blows smoke in Yami's face*  
  
Yami: *coughs and kicks Bakura away*  
  
Bakura: HEY!  
  
Yuki: Okay, Joey, the next thing is for you. It's 500 tons of food!  
  
Joey: *Eyes water* T-thank you! I was dying from starvation! *Dives into food*  
  
Seto: Hasn't it been only 5 hours since you ate all the food?  
  
Joey: *mouth full of food* Mmmfffhhh?  
  
Seto: Forget I asked.  
  
Yuki: Is Ryou done with that dress yet?  
  
Ryou: Yes, you damn authoress people! *Appears in a cute pale blue dress*  
  
Bakura: *drops his crack and falls over because he can't get air since he's laughing so hard that no sound is coming out*  
  
Yuki: RYOU! Mwahahaha!  
  
Ryou: ~_~6 What now?  
  
Yuki: Nothing. ^_^  
  
Bakura: *finally recovers enough to get air* HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Coughs because of the crack smoking*  
  
Yami: HA! You shithead!  
  
Bakura: Shut up, YAMI. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami!  
  
Yami: AHHHHH!!!!! BASTARD! I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.  
  
Yuki: Okay, before this gets out of hand, the next one is for Yugi! Here's a Yami plushie!!  
  
Yugi: Cute!! *Hugs Yami plushie*  
  
Yami: I'm _not_ CUTE!  
  
Seto: You have to say it.  
  
Yami: Wha . . .? Oh yea, I love you whoever I'm supposed to say it to.  
  
Yuki: You're supposed to say it to me. Anyway, the next is for Yami!  
  
Yami: I love you. Do I want this?  
  
Yuki: Maybe, because it's a . . . YUGI PLUSHIE!  
  
Yami: Cute!! *Hugs Yugi plushie*  
  
Everyone but Yami, Yuki, and Yugi: *stares at Yami strangely*  
  
Yami: What?  
  
*All continue to stare*  
  
Yuki: *clears throat* Alright, next, Tea get some poisoned, well shaken diet Pepsi for when she wakes up  
  
Joey: Did someone say Pepsi? *Grabs Pepsi*  
  
Yugi: Joey! WAIT!  
  
Joey: *polishes off the Pepsi* Ew, diet! Whaddya say, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: -_-6  
  
Seto: We should all know that by now, Joey's stomach can take anything.  
  
Joey: Huh? *Dives back into food*  
  
Yuki: And now! Here you are Seto! *Tosses shaving cream to Seto*  
  
Seto: Huh? What's this?  
  
Yuki: *drags Seto into other room*  
  
Seto: HEY! WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? NOOOOOOO!  
  
Yuki: *Brings Seto back* And, she also sent you a curse! *Shows paper to Seto*  
  
Seto: *eyes get really big*  
  
Yami: *smirks* What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?  
  
Seto: I shaved my leg.  
  
Yami: WHAT!?  
  
Seto: Wanna feel it?  
  
Yami: Do you know what you are saying? Hell, no! I don't wanna feel it! Ugh!  
  
Seto: I shaved my leg.  
  
Yami: I know! STOP SAYING THAT!  
  
Seto: Wanna feel it?  
  
Yami: For the last time, NO!!!!!!  
  
Yuki: ^_^ Here Bakura! *Hands Bakura a paper from Lightning-chan*  
  
Bakura: *raises an eyebrow*  
  
Yugi: Oh no . . .  
  
Bakura: I like stuff.  
  
Ryou: Of course you do. We all do.  
  
Bakura: WHEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Ryou: What?  
  
Bakura: WHEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Ryou: Humh . . .  
  
Yuki: Seto, change of plans. Kalitra said so. *Hands Seto another paper*  
  
Seto: *grimaces and thinks, 'that doesn't make my leg unshaven'*  
  
Yami: Now what?  
  
Seto: Yami is my master.  
  
Yami: Now that's better!  
  
Seto: I'm his lowly servant!  
  
Yami: Really . . .? Then act like a dog!  
  
Seto: *stays where he is* Yami is my master.  
  
Yami: I'm not getting anything out of this, am I?  
  
Seto: I'm his lowly servant.  
  
Yuki: ^_^ *hands Seto a paper, this time from Cherior and another one from Yami-kun*  
  
Seto: *looks like he wants to kill the authoress*  
  
Yuki: Don't blame me, the reviewers wanted it!  
  
Yami: So he is no longer my servant?  
  
Seto: Voulez vous couchez avec moi?  
  
Yami: What the fuck does that mean?  
  
Yugi: *whispers the meaning into Yami's ear*  
  
Yami: Not here, Yugi.  
  
Everyone else: *stares strangely again*  
  
Yami: OH! That's what it means! Seto, no, I do not wanna sleep with you, and I don't think anyone wants me to anyway.  
  
Fangirls from Nowhere: Nope. *fangirls disappear*  
  
Seto: I want you.  
  
Yami: SHUT UP, ALREADY!  
  
Seto: I want you.  
  
Yami: Ahhhhh!  
  
Seto: I want you.  
  
Yami: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Yuki: Hmm. Neiko's_guardian_angel sends in a guest!  
  
Guest: *falls on the floor* Greetings, everyone. I am Maximillion Pegasus.  
  
Everyone but Bakura and Seto: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura and Seto: *mouths open*  
  
Yuki: Alright, let's get this show on the road! Here ya go Pegasus. *Hands him a paper*  
  
Pegasus: *smiles*  
  
Everyone: *looks scared*  
  
Seto: *backs away* I want you.  
  
Pegasus: I love Seto.  
  
Tea: *Wakes up* I cun't moove.too mooch taapppe!  
  
Yami: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Yugi: Yami?  
  
Yami: I love you! It was REALLY fun!  
  
Joey: Ay, guys! Whaddaya doin?  
  
Ryou: Wellllll . . . Pegasus loves Seto, Seto wants Yami to get into bed with him, Seto is Yami's servant, and Tea woke up.  
  
Joey: . . .What's wro-Did you say the Tea woke up!? Can I eat her?!  
  
Yuki: No, no, no. There will be no character death unless reviewers say so!  
  
Tea: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Dun't eat me Doey! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!  
  
Yugi: No, the screaming again!  
  
Yami: I can fix that! *Gets some more tape from the roll and puts a bunch on Tea's mouth*  
  
Yuki: Okay Yami, you have too much freedom and no one is saying your name anymore, so, by the request of Snow Rabbit, here. *Hands him a paper*  
  
Yami: *scowls* I love you.  
  
Yugi: Hey Yami, now what do you have to say?  
  
Yami: I love you.  
  
Yuki: I don't think he really wants to say it, but if you make him talk enough, it will slip out whether he likes it or not.  
  
Yugi: Okay! ^_^ Yami, Yami, Yami, Yami, talk to me!  
  
Yami: I love you. I love you. I love you. I will do anything because Yuki said so.  
  
Yugi: Oh! ^_^ Give me a kiss Yami!  
  
Yami: *kisses Yugi, on the cheek*  
  
Ryou: Give my yami a hug!  
  
Yami: *looks horrified but walks over to Bakura*  
  
Bakura: *looks horrified as well and runs* WHEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Pegasus: I love Bakura!  
  
Bakura: *looks even more scared* I like stuff!  
  
Pegasus: I love Bakura!  
  
Ryou: Oh dear . . .  
  
Yuki: Ryou . . .it's your turn!  
  
Ryou: What!? No! Isn't the dress good enough for you!?  
  
Yuki: Never! Here! *hands him a paper from NightMaiden02*  
  
Ryou: Why is that?  
  
Yuki: Because, you obviously have worn a dress before or else you wouldn't be so comfortable in it.  
  
Ryou: -_- I ain't going there.  
  
Yugi: *doesn't know that Ryou is cursed* Going where? I really wish you wouldn't speak so cryptically.  
  
Ryou: Why is that?  
  
Yugi: So I can understand you! Your yami is rubbing off on you or something Ryou!  
  
Ryou: Why is that?  
  
Yugi: AHHHH! *for a second looks like Yami when he's mad, then walks away rubbing his temples*  
  
Yuki: Good job Ryou.  
  
Ryou: Why is that?  
  
Yuki: Never mind.  
  
Ryou: I ain't going there. *Watches his yami*  
  
Bakura: *stops to rest* I like stuff.  
  
Yami: *catches up to him, hits him in the stomach, gives him a quick hug, and collapses on a nearby couch*  
  
Pegasus: I love Bakura!  
  
Seto: I want you.  
  
Pegasus: I love Seto!  
  
Seto: *looks worried* I want you.  
  
Yuki: Hmm . . .should I make all of the curses go away, and then start fresh next chapter?  
  
Seto, Bakura, Yami, and Ryou: *nod emphatically*  
  
Yuki: Well, reviewers will decide, anyway, does anyone have curse ideas? My evil mind is taking a break and if you do submit an idea, I guarantee that it will be used in one chapter or another!  
  
Yugi: *sigh* That was close. I thought I was going to be cursed!  
  
Yuki: Well, you only weren't this chapter because there weren't any people that had any good sentences for you . . .  
  
Yugi: -_-  
  
Yuki: Oh yea, read these two reviews, Yugi.  
  
Yugi: *reads reviews by Yami Dragoness and Beckie* I didn't know Yami did that . . .  
  
Yuki: It's my new service, called 'Rent a Yami' Right now I only have Yami and Bakura available.  
  
Yami: *looks like he's ready to bash in the authoress's head*  
  
Yuki: I better smooth this over, review though. Oh yea, person who didn't put their name, nothing is worse than experiencing the curse first-hand. Right, Yami?  
  
Yami: *glares EXTREMELY hatefully at the authoress* I love you.  
  
Joey: Ask to send Pegasus back! He's eating my food! Wah!  
  
Pegasus: *eating* I love Seto.  
  
Yugi: Or . . . you could ask her to send us all back home so we don't have to be cursed . . .  
  
Joey: Somehow, I don't think that that's going to happen . . .  
  
Pegasus: *still eating* I love Bakura! 


	3. Utter Ramdomness

Wow . . . this is sure getting some good response . . .oh yea, and for those fans of Téa/ Anzu, I don't like her because she can't fight. She portrays that image that girls are cheerleaders and if they do finally play, they're crappy at what they do. For those reasons, Mai is my favorite female character on the show. Heck, she's the most like me, personality wise, at least. Oh yea, reading Distant Memories by Digipuppy sealed the deal of me hating Téa.  
  
Warning: Character Torture.  
  
***  
  
Yuki: Hmm, I'll use these requests in order, meaning that if you reviewed first, your idea will be used first.  
  
Joey: Wah! Pegasus ate all of my food!  
  
Pegasus: *Leaning against the wall with a full belly* I love Seto!  
  
Seto: *across the room looking scared* I want you.  
  
Yuki: Blue diamond, you can use my idea, I guess. But shouldn't you think of something of your own?  
  
Yugi: *nods* She's right, y'know. You shouldn't put us all through this all over again!  
  
Yuki: Oh, I almost forgot, here's something from YamiJupiter15! *Hands Yugi a paper*  
  
Yugi: *bites his lip and looks around for Yami*  
  
Yuki: Nope, he's not here right now. He's still recovering from out little bout, but at least he's fully agreed to the 'Rent a Yami' business.  
  
Yami: *is sitting in some place* I love you. *Stares at clouds*  
  
Yugi: But . . .  
  
Joey: Aw, don't worry, Yuge, it couldn't be that bad.  
  
Bakura: *scowling in a corner* WEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Yugi: *looks to his right and sees Joey, gives Joey a kiss*  
  
Joey: *jumps a bit* GAH! Why me! First some girl-y guy eats all my food, and now my best friend, a guy, kisses me! Ahhh!  
  
Yugi: Uh, sorry?  
  
Yuki: Random Rockstar says to take off the curses. Let's see, Bakura, Ryou, Pegasus, Yami, and Seto will be free, for now.  
  
Yugi: But . . .why me?  
  
Yuki: You just got yours, but I'll bring Yami back.  
  
Yami: *falls out of the sky and lands on his butt* Ow, you damn authoress!  
  
Yugi: Yami! *Hugs Yami and suspiciously eyes the authoress*  
  
Yami: ^__^  
  
Yuki: Alright, Deja*vu sends packages!  
  
*Packages rain on Yami*  
  
Yami: HEY! *Shakes the packages off*  
  
Seto: How come Téa got knocked out, but not Yami?  
  
Yuki: Well, um, maybe these are lighter?  
  
Seto: Uh huh.  
  
Yuki: *ignores him* Joey gets a truckload of Pixie Sticks and nachos.  
  
Ryou: Can we really handle a hyper Joey?  
  
Seto: Nope.  
  
Joey: *eats ravenously* Ooh. Yea. Sugar. Getting. Hyper. Oh, yea!  
  
Yami: *sarcastic* Oh joy. Now we will have fun dealing with this, won't we?  
  
Yuki: ^_^ Yup! Pegasus gets wine!  
  
Pegasus: I love Seto.  
  
Yuki: You don't have to say it anymore.  
  
Pegasus: I know.  
  
Seto: Eep.  
  
Everyone else: Ew.  
  
Yuki: Seto gets bandages and healing ointment.  
  
Seto: *protects stuff with his arms* Mine! All mine!  
  
Everyone else: O_o  
  
Yuki: Yami and Bakura get flame-throwers, grenades, and machine guns.  
  
Yami: Hmmm.  
  
Bakura: MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Ryou: Deja*vu, that wasn't a very smart thing to do!  
  
Deja*vu: *falls from the sky* Oh. Oh well.  
  
Seto: What's she doing here?  
  
Yuki: I dunno, she wanted to come. But, this is the rule, anyone can come, but unless they're actually a character, they will only be here for one chapter!  
  
Deja*vu: Aw . . .  
  
Yami: Thank . . .whatever god I'm supposed to thank.  
  
Bakura: Don't you mean Ra?  
  
Yami: But Yugi's history book said he doesn't exist.  
  
Bakura: What?!  
  
Everyone else: *shudders* History.  
  
Bakura: Good thing I am a Satanist.  
  
Deja*vu: You are?! Ah! Save me!  
  
*No one moves*  
  
Deja*vu: What's wrong with you?  
  
Yami: *shoots once into the air* This is strange coming from someone who sends us weapons.  
  
Deja*vu: Oh.  
  
Yuki: Hey Yami, Pachelbel wants to rent you!  
  
Yami: NOOO!  
  
Pachelbel: So, how long can I have him?  
  
Yuki: Uh, I think until someone else wants to rent him or until the end of the chapter.  
  
Pachelbel: Oh well, long enough! *Glomps Yami*  
  
Yami: *can barely breathe* Urk . . .  
  
Yuki: Well, for not being tortured last chapter, people seem to want you to suffer!  
  
Yugi: Why me? I thought I was the cute one!  
  
Yuki: Well, Pegasus was wrong, even the cutest people have to pay! Pachelbel said so! Here's what you have to do! *Whispers in his ear*  
  
Seto: So Yugi, what does it feel like to be cursed? Not fun, is it?  
  
Yugi: I sing 'the Barney song' in the shower.  
  
Seto: *caught off-guard* Er . . .alright then. That's . . .interesting . . .  
  
Joey: Yugi, that doesn't sound like a very fun curse at all.  
  
Yugi: Someone farted one time, and I said it was Joey, everyone believed me, but it really was me.  
  
Everyone: *slightly inch away from Yugi*  
  
Joey: BAH! So that was why everyone was spraying toilet freshener on me!  
  
Yami: Sorry Yugi, I'd love to help you, but . . .  
  
Pachelbel: You're mine! *Gives Yami a hickey*  
  
Yami: HEY! *Hickey disappears*  
  
Pachelbel: What the fuck?!  
  
Yuki: Sorry, stuff like that cannot, will not, happen here.  
  
Pachelbel: Oh shit.  
  
Yami: Thank . . .whoever . . . I need a new religion . . .  
  
Yugi: One time, at the beach, I took off my swim trunks in front of everyone because someone told me that it would help me get girls.  
  
Everyone: O_o x 1000000.  
  
Yuki: Seto, you get something from JenniChan. *Hands him a paper*  
  
Seto: *frowns deeply*  
  
Joey: *jumps around* So. Kaiba. Kaiba. Kaiba. Kaiba. Whadaya gotta say?  
  
Seto: I love Teddy bears, especially the cute cuddly ones.  
  
Bakura: *smirks* Really? *Continues to play basketball with the grenades*  
  
Yuki: JenniChan, evil is better!  
  
Bakura: Damn straight!  
  
Yuki: From her, I get a book of curses. Curse #538 Make them suck on their thumbs for a full minute whenever someone says a word with any letter in their name. This would be fun, but then no one would get to talk . . .  
  
Everyone: *sighs in relief*  
  
Yuki: Joey gets a frog!  
  
Frog: *sees the hungry look in Joey's eyes, and jumps out the window*  
  
Joey: Aw! I wanted to eat that!  
  
Tristan: You're demented!  
  
French Guy: Mon Dieu! You were willing to eat the frog raw!?  
  
*Tristan and French Guy disappear*  
  
Joey: *goes back to eating his food*  
  
Deja*vu: Shouldn't he at least thank me for giving you that food?  
  
Ryou: I don't think that he's going to stop eating unless there's promise for more food. Yami: *Pachelbel is sitting on his lap* So, Seto, what was the other thing you had to say?  
  
Seto: *scowls* I hate money so I'll give all my money away. *Throws all the money in his wallet to Yami*  
  
Yami: Here, aibou! *Tosses money to Yugi*  
  
Yugi: *smiles gratefully that Yami didn't say his name and puts the money in his pockets*  
  
Yuki: Yami, you get a book on past Egyptians.  
  
Yami: *skims through it* HEY! Why am I not in here?!  
  
Pachelbel: Aw, Yami, shut up. *Hugs tighter*  
  
JenniChan: Oops . . . *Disappears*  
  
Yuki: Yugi, you get a deck of cards!  
  
Yugi: Hey! They're blank! One time, I hit on this girl working at the pet store and she pat my head, gave a dog biscuit and said, 'Nice doggy'.  
  
Everyone: *they are unable to O_o anymore*  
  
Yuki: Seto, you get Jigglypuff's marker. Too bad it only works when people are asleep.  
  
Seto: *looks for Téa*  
  
Téa: *with no duct tape on her*  
  
Seto: *Tries to draw on her, but it doesn't go on*  
  
Téa: *wakes up* Huh?  
  
Yuki: JenniChan says to be nice to her.  
  
Bakura: WHAT THE FUCK!?  
  
Yuki: Oh, quiet now. She sent you a toy car.  
  
Bakura: What am I supposed to do with that? Hmmm. I know! *Puts grenades in the seats*  
  
Yuki: Whoops, that was for Ryou . . .  
  
Ryou: You let him blow up my car?!  
  
Yuki: Well . . .everyone makes mistakes, right? You can have Bakura's gift, it's Mokuba's toy duck.  
  
Duck: *squeak, squeak*  
  
Ryou: Well . . .okay.  
  
Yuki: DarkPhoenix wants Téa dead.  
  
Téa: But, I thought I was protected in this chapter!  
  
Yuki: Fine! You won't die . . . yet. I'll wait until there is no one who wants you to live.  
  
Téa: Should I be relieved?  
  
Ryou: I don't know . . .  
  
Yuki: Here's another curse, Yugi! *Gives a paper to Yugi*  
  
Yugi: -_- Well, this one is better . . .  
  
Yuki: How much food does Joey have left?  
  
Deja*vu: I dunno, things aren't looking good for him.  
  
Yuki: Great! Let's watch!  
  
Yugi: *walks over to Joey's pile of food and eats it all like a starving man, i.e. Joey* Blech, how do you eat that much . . .  
  
Joey: No, no, no! Yugi! Why did you eat all my food!? *Cries like a baby*  
  
Yuki: Bakura, Kako sends you this paper. *Gives Bakura the paper*  
  
Bakura: *looks at paper and scowls* Damn you all.  
  
Pachelbel: *cutting off Yami's air supply* So now what do you want to do, Yami?  
  
Bakura: *walks over to Pachelbel and kisses her*  
  
Pachelbel: *blushes* Can I have them both?  
  
Yuki: You just got greedy, so bye!  
  
Pachelbel: Nooo! *Disappears*  
  
Yami: I'm saved!  
  
Yuki: Er . . .yeah, keep thinking that . . .  
  
Yami: What?  
  
Yuki: Jennifer and Nikki send things . . .Here comes, Nikki!  
  
Nikki: *falls on the floor* Hiya!  
  
Yami: *cautiously* What is she doing here?  
  
Nikki: I wanna be with you guys!  
  
Yuki: You can stay, but you can't act like Pachelbel, alright?  
  
Nikki: Aw . . .but I'm a yami, too . . .  
  
Bakura: Then you're all right! Come, let us blow things up!  
  
Nikki: Yay!  
  
*Nikki and Bakura go . . .somewhere . . .*  
  
Yuki: I got Pest-Be-Gone, but I can't use that this chapter, so I'll just save that . . . But, I also got a spray that turns people into chibis! *Sprays Bakura and Yami*  
  
*Bakura and Nikki return from . . . somewhere . . .*  
  
C. Bakura: Why da fuck did you turn me inta a chibi!?  
  
Nikki: Cutie! *Glomps*  
  
C. Bakura: Help me!  
  
Yuki: Alright, if you are a chibi, you are immune to curses.  
  
C. Bakura: Dat's bedder!  
  
Yugi: Yami's a cutie!  
  
C. Yami: *sees glint in Nikki's eye* *crawls into Yugi's arms* Hide me, Yugi!  
  
Yugi: ^________^ Okie! *hugs Yami* Yuki: Awww!  
  
Deja*vu: I want a chibi!  
  
C. Yami and C. Bakura: NO!  
  
Yuki: I also got I-Love-You-Spray! *Reads* Spray at someone and the next person's name they hear they will instantly fall head over heals in love with (them)! I will not use this yet, but soon . . .mwahahahaha!  
  
Everyone: *scared*  
  
Yuki: Ryou, Bakura, Yami, and Yugi, Jennifer says that you are the coolest anime characters in the entire world.  
  
Ryou and Yugi: *smile modestly*  
  
C. Yami and C. Bakura: We doe!  
  
Seto: *looks like he's going to die from laughing*  
  
Yuki: Seto, I give Magicman's curse to you! Here you go! *gives paper*  
  
Seto: Here you go!  
  
C. Yami: Wut?  
  
Seto: What?  
  
C. Yami: Aibou, Kaiba is being a dum ass!  
  
Yugi: *happily hugs Yami* Aw, it's okay, Yami!  
  
C. Yami: *sulks*  
  
Yuki: Joey gets a trio of Blue Eyes White Dragon cards that once belonged to Seto Kaiba.  
  
Joey: Yay! Ha, Kaiba!  
  
Seto: Ha, Kaiba! -_-  
  
Yuki: Seto gets a ticking time bomb, a flask of nitroglycerin, and several other things set to explode.  
  
*All Explode*  
  
Seto: *write on the ground, 'Where's my ointment?'*  
  
Joey: Whoops, sorry, Kaiba. I ate it.  
  
Seto: I ate it.  
  
Yuki: Téa gets a Yami and a Yugi doll.  
  
Téa: *Téars in her eyes* Thank you! Someone cares! I'll treasure these forever!  
  
C. Yami and Yugi: But, we-  
  
Yuki: Don't waste your breath, guys, she'll never listen.  
  
C. Yami and Yugi: -_-  
  
Yuki: Yami and Yugi, you guys get free passes to Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones.  
  
Yugi: I thought we already saw it.  
  
C. Yami: Well, it'll be dark . . . But . . . No! Anyone, please make me not a chibi!  
  
Yuki: And well Tristan will now be an on going character in this fic.  
  
Tristan: *falls from the sky* Hey . . . how'd I get here?  
  
Yuki: Magicman sends you these words of advice: Don't trifle with the dead. They have eerie powers.  
  
Tristan: What!? Oh man, I think I'm gonna pee in my pants!  
  
Yuki: Actually, people are unable to do that here, that would just be nasty. Who knows what Bakura would do?  
  
Everyone else: *shudders at the thought*  
  
Tristan: Joey, help me out here, man!  
  
Joey: No can do, Tristan. We're just sitting ducks here.  
  
Deja*vu: According to the new ff.net rule, I think this thing needs a plot.  
  
Yuki: NOOOOOOO! Anybody got any ideas?  
  
Seto: I think that you should just get on with the suggestions before you worry about that.  
  
Yuki: Okay . . .wait a minute, weren't you cursed?  
  
Seto: I don't remember what it was . . .  
  
Yuki: Oh well, neither do I. Magicman sends Pegasus their warmest regards . . .and a lifetime supply of Gorgonzola cheese and all the Funny Bunny comics they could find.  
  
Pegasus: Thank you! Some mouse-y guy named Mr. Jingles (sorry KawaiiBlackMoon) ate it all! And look at this! I didn't even know that this issue existed! I thank you!  
  
Everyone: *leaves Pegasus in a corner to . . .do whatever he does when in the possession of wine, cheese and comic books*  
  
Seto: I bet he'd be less insane if he just stuck to reading manga.  
  
Tristan: I agree.  
  
Yuki: Ryou gets a book, called 'How to Release Your Internal Rage'.  
  
Ryou: *reads a couple pages and then takes a deep breath* I HATE YOU! YOU ARE A TERRIBLE YAMI! YOU JUST ACT INSANE AND BLOW THINGS UP! GET A LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!  
  
C. Bakura: Geez, I neber noo you felt dat way! I'm doh glad! I thought you were passive and weak all dis time! I love tat book!  
  
Yuki: All right then. Bakura, you get a large supply of guns, knives, lasers, and various other weapons!  
  
C. Bakura: Why do I hab to be a chibi! I can't even lift half of this duff!  
  
C. Yami: Dat's good!  
  
Yugi: *hugs Yami some more* Yeah, Bakura you should be less violent, then maybe, you would get a nice boy/girl friend.  
  
C. Bakura: Why da slash?  
  
Yugi: Well, who knows? You could go either or both ways.  
  
Yuki: Alright, this conversation is getting a bit weird, so here are Reanimation and Hybrid Theory CDs for Bakura and Ryou, respectively.  
  
C. Bakura: Anyone got a CD player?  
  
Ryou: Nope.  
  
C. Bakura: Oh well, I'll turn it into a hat! *Puts a lock of his hair through the hole at the middle of his CD*  
  
Ryou: This is what I'm talking about!!  
  
Yuki: Those were from Shadow and Dark Promise, but I don't understand the curse . . . Here Yugi, it was meant for you, what do you think? *hands him a paper*  
  
Yugi: Hmm. I think I understand, but what are the chances of this? Besides, I live in Japan! Here is where guys like Yami are skinnier than Britney Spears!  
  
C. Yami: True, that.  
  
Yuki: Mistic sends stuff. Bakura will be unchibi-ed.  
  
Bakura: Finally! Now Yami, I can hold my weapons again!  
  
C. Yami: Eep!!!!!!  
  
Yuki: Cutie! *Turns to Bakura* Bakura, no death shall come to him, understand?  
  
Bakura: Grrrrr! What's the point then? *Drops weapons*  
  
Yuki: Seto, here's a curse! *Gives Seto a paper*  
  
C. Yami: So, Seto, whaddya gotta say?  
  
Seto: Wanna shake that booty?  
  
C. Yami: But I'm a chibi! It'll look weird . . .  
  
Some people: *stares at Yami*  
  
C. Yami: Now what did I say?  
  
Yugi: Ooh, nuthin, Yami.  
  
C. Yami: *not convinced*  
  
Yuki: Ryou, you get Curse-B-gone spray.  
  
Ryou: *holds it close* I'll never let go spray, I'll never let go!  
  
Yuki: I've been waiting for this! Now, here is stuff from KawaiiBlackMoon!  
  
Everyone: *sarcastic* Oh joy.  
  
Yuki: Ryou gets a wedding dress with a letter saying: Don't damn me! Damn your self!  
  
Ryou: Another dress!? Let me guess, I have to wear it?  
  
Yuki: Well, you said it!  
  
Ryou: *mumbles something about evil authoresses having too much freedom of speech for their own good, and walks away to change*  
  
Yuki: For the next chapter, where she can get some regular ol' torture, just like everyone else, Téa gets a lotion that contains a deadly virus that can cause skin cancer.  
  
Téa: Why do you hate me?  
  
Yuki: We just do. Just like Apple Jacks!  
  
Téa: -_-  
  
Yuki: Bakura gets 50 gallons of beer and a tuxedo!  
  
Bakura: Something is suspicious . . . *Wears tuxedo anyway and drinks the beer, becoming tipsy*  
  
C. Yami: I dun't lick dis at dall!  
  
Yuki: Alright, Yami. I've had enough!  
  
Yami: Thank you so much! *Hugs Yugi* My protecter!  
  
Yugi: ^_______^  
  
Yuki: You and Yugi get couple rings! Cute!  
  
Yugi: *blushes* ^____^  
  
Yami: ^_____^  
  
Yuki: Seto, you get a backfiring bazooka and two fuzzy pink bunnies that multiply every five seconds!  
  
Seto: Wanna shake that booty? *Tries to escape the pink bunnies, but can't*  
  
Yuki: No thanks.  
  
Pegasus: Hey look! It's Funny Bunny!  
  
Yuki: Joey gets 90000 Red-Eyes shaped chocolates!  
  
Joey: Finally! Someone sends me more food! *Begins to be a pig again*  
  
Yuki: Yami gets four Blue-Eye White Dragon cards and three Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon cards!  
  
Yami: MWAHAHAHAHA! Now how will you defeat me, huh? Now you're the one who doesn't stand 'a ghost of a chance'!  
  
Seto: -__________-  
  
Yuki: Yugi gets a cute lil' purple dress.  
  
Yugi: Aw man! *Looks at authoress with cute shiny eyes*  
  
Yuki: GAH! Cute! *Looks away* Go change!  
  
Yugi: Alright. Come help, Yami!  
  
Yami: *jumps at the opportunity* Okay!  
  
Yuki: HEY! WAIT! Ryou is still in there! I'll make it up to you in a plot- less NC-17 fic!  
  
Yugi and Yami: Okay. ^__^  
  
Yuki: Seto gets a pink bra.  
  
Seto: Wanna shake that booty?  
  
Yuki: Here's the curse that goes with it. *Gives him a paper*  
  
Seto: I'm wearing a bra.  
  
Tristan: Ew, man! What are you talkin about? Just because you get something you don't like doesn't mean you have to use it!  
  
Seto: Do you want to see it?  
  
Tristan: Hell no!  
  
Seto: *takes off his shirts* I'm wearing a bra.  
  
Tristan: *shields his eyes* Augh! Man I can see that!  
  
Joey: This is nothing.  
  
Tristan: O__o  
  
Yuki: Pegasus gets a paper. *Paper flies over to Pegasus*  
  
Pegasus: I like bunnies!  
  
Tristan: O_o Okay, that has already been established.  
  
Pegasus: Hop, hop, hop! *Hops around*  
  
Tristan: O_o Now I've seen it all.  
  
Joey: Nope.  
  
*Ryou and Bakura both are next to each other and look like they're gonna get married*  
  
Nikki and Yuki: Kawaii!  
  
Yuki: Here you go! *Papers fly to Bakura and Ryou*  
  
Ryou: Bakura?  
  
Bakura: Yes?  
  
Ryou: Do you want to marry me?  
  
Bakura: Of course I will!  
  
Yuki: Great! Now you are officially unofficially married! You may now kiss the . . .each other!  
  
Bakura and Ryou: *kiss because the authoress said so*  
  
Yuki: There is a very good curse for Téa here. Med-Jai ferret sent something else bad for Téa, but again, we can't use it yet. It will have to be next chapter, where no one can be protected! MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Yuki: Yami, however, is not so lucky. He had to do one push-up for every 'e' in words spoken by the official cast members, since I talk too much.  
  
Yami: *comes back holding Yugi's hand* Nooo! Just when I thought I was safe!  
  
Yugi: But aren't I cute?  
  
Yami: -_- *does two push-ups*  
  
Yuki: Yup, you are cute! Here ya go! *Paper flies over to Yugi*  
  
Yugi: Oh.  
  
Yuki: Ryou must drink 10 gallons of soda whenever his name is said. And 50 some gallons of soda were sent for this.  
  
Ryou: *sitting next to Bakura* -_-  
  
Joey: *looks up from eating* My throat is kinda dry . . . *Drinks all of the soda*  
  
Ryou: *smiles gratefully at Joey* Thank you so much!  
  
Bakura: *glares at Joey*  
  
Yuki: Bakura must eat a stick of butter every time 'why' is said.  
  
Bakura: Well, that doesn't sound too likely.  
  
Yami: *does three push-ups*  
  
Yugi: Why?  
  
Bakura: *scowls and eats the butter*  
  
Yuki: And I get: '99 and 1/2 Ways to Create Curses w/ Voodoo', a book! Beware, or your next chapter will be your last!  
  
Everyone: *thinks, 'Eep.'*  
  
Yuki: The next thing is for Joey! He now thinks that he is Kaiba!  
  
Joey: *walks around with his head up high* I'm Seto Kaiba, and I make more money than all you losers! I plan to take over the world and make everyone suck my-  
  
Yami: *does ten push-ups*  
  
Tristan: *knocks Joey out* That's enough!  
  
Yami: *does one push-up*  
  
Yuki: The next vict- er, hell, I don't know what else to call it! Pegasus is next! He will get electrocuted every time his name is said.  
  
Yugi: Why?  
  
Bakura: Damn you. *Eats another stick of butter* You're going to make me fat.  
  
Everyone: O_o  
  
Yami: *does three push-ups*  
  
Yuki: Juu-Chan wants to rent Bakura.  
  
Juu-Chan: Here I am!  
  
Bakura: Sorry babe, I just got hitched.  
  
Yami: *is starting to sweat because he has to stay in the push-up position, does two push-ups*  
  
Juu-Chan: No fair!  
  
Yuki: Well, Ryou will get his regular clothes back. *sighs*  
  
Ryou: Thank you ever so much.  
  
Yami: O_o *does two push-ups*  
  
Juu-Chan: You're welcome!  
  
Yuki: Lerian, you can be in the next chapter, since this is nearly the end and it wouldn't be fair. Yay! From Lerian Miliko Amaya, I get a voodoo doll of Téa, two cases of needles and a limited edition of a book of the best curses! Next chapter, I can't wait! And Joey gets food!  
  
Joey: X_x  
  
Yuki: Well, it will be waiting for him when he isn't Kaiba anymore. Sadly, Yami and Yugi will be spending the rest of this chapter in the NC-17 that I will eventually write.  
  
Yugi and Yami: *disappear*  
  
Seto: I'm wearing a bra.  
  
Yuki: Seto you have to act like Mokuba's rubber duckie when someone says your name.  
  
Tristan: Where's Pegasus? *Hears a zapping noise* Oh.  
  
Bakura: Seto Kaiba, you haven't suffered enough yet.  
  
Seto: *suddenly gets into a rubber duckie position and stays still* You will pay for this Bakura! Can someone take off my bra!?  
  
Yuki: I wouldn't say that if I were you because Bakura gets daggers!  
  
Bakura: MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Yuki: Tristan, you get guides to a new hair-style.  
  
Tristan: *sticks his head in the book and out comes a Mohawk*  
  
Everyone: X__o  
  
Yuki: And Pegasus *Zap* gets a new black suit that trimmed with silver. And I think that I'm finally done with the requests.  
  
Deja*vu: About time.  
  
Yuki: Oh, hey. I forgot you were here.  
  
Deja*vu: I know. -_-  
  
Nikki: You forgot about me, too.  
  
Yuki: Shouldn't you go home? Yami isn't here and Bakura is unavailable. Any way, are there any ideas for a plot of some sort?  
  
*Crickets chirp*  
  
Yuki: -_- Fine then. Make the reviewers decide.  
  
Tristan: *now has a 'fro* Is that good?  
  
Joey: God no.  
  
Tristan: -_-  
  
Téa: Well, this has been interesting to watch . . .but the guys with Yamis are . . . involved with their Yamis! Who is left now? Kaiba, Joey, Tristan? Noooo!  
  
Joey: Do ya have to so, insultin?! Besides, you forgot Pegasus!  
  
Téa: No!!!  
  
Pegasus: *zap* 


End file.
